Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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