no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
