As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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