I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
