oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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