yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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