i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
