There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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