Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
