don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
