Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
