Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize