She said her name was "party"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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