Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's always time for handjobs
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
