so explain again why im purple
no
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
