I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Come see our sink grown plant.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
