I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
