He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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