i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
