I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
now i know why i became what i already was.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
