omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish you could order shots online.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
