i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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