Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
3 2 1 whiskey
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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