One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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