There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
