Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
