my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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