i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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