alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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