just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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