Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
