He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
