I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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