i may or may not be watching the land before time
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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