She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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