It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
