So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
