Define "chronic" masturbator.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
