Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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