omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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