Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
