hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
smell my finger.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just had sex on a roof
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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