I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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