Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
