We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
