he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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