I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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