that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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