you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
