Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You are a genius and a whore.
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