Kiss
Puke
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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