So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
