I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
