my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize