i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
