Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
