I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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