it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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