Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ttyl tear gas
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
