I'm really into asian looking animals
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
