I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
